You're looking into my heart.

Agh... God keeps on ripping my heart. When I close my eyes and think about it I get this picture of a heart that's being clawed at, peeling back layers. Remember Eustance, in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader? Remember when Aslan had to peel off the layers of his dragon skin by using his lion claws, and it was so painful, until finally the last layer was gone and all that was left was naked, humble Eustance...? That's me!

I've just come home from the children's program in Quezon city. I still have to process what I really saw there. Picture the island you sometimes see between different directions of traffic. You know, that little space in between, it sometimes has grass growing or trees in it? Picture instead rows of tents, as far as you can see stretching down that skinny island space. Picture children sleeping out in the open there, just laying in between lanes of traffic. They truly have noting. They don't even have enough to pay the minuscule rent to live in a squatter village. Just small children... please imagine. They are 5, 6, and younger. One of them just lost his mother, she was hit by a car and killed- right there where they all live. They're so small. My heart grieves for the little girls. How safe could they be? The literally live ON the road, and who's keeping watch over them with all the people around? Lord, please keep those children safe from harm... pray for them. That's all I can say right now. Thanks for praying.

Ange.

...dahil sabi ng Panginoon.

I was a wreck this sunday! I bawled through most of worship and again through the offering.

Jane is on the dance team. Last year when we met her, she was having a problem with her hip. She had so much pain that it made dancing impossible, and even walking to church was a struggle for her. She was truly in agony and her faith to be healed started to suffer as the weeks went by. We laid hands on her as a church and prayed many times, and a couple of the guys provided money to take her to get an MRI. Nothing was figured out, and when my team left in May she still hadn't been healed. I was ecstatic this year to come back and learn that she is completely, 100% healed now. She doesn't not suffer problems with her hip anymore! When she came out to dance sunday morning during worship I dissolved into tears. How great is our God! His spirit is so tangible at A New Hope. His praises shouted into the air, it's an atmosphere of praise!

I'm a frequent crier during the offering. Imagine spending all this time with kids who you know have next to nothing, then imagine the blessing to see them come to church. It might be an hour walk in the heat to get here, but they manage, because they can feel God when they come, and He is reason enough. Then you see them pull a couple coins from their pocket when the music starts to play. Two pesos, which is 4 cents CAD. It always makes me think of the story of the widow who gave so little- only a couple copper coins, but in such faith. What she gave was more valuable to the Lord. When I see those precious little kids walk up to the offering box and drop it in I want to sob and sob. They are so beautiful. 4 cents is all they have to give, but they do it. In that way, they are bigger than me. My selfish heart can learn so much from them.

I hope and pray that you're blessed by hearing about these kids.

On a personal note, I'm seeking God's direction for my life in my time here. I believe that now, with none of the comforts of home, or distractions around me, I can focus really intently on listening for the voice of God and where He will lead me. I want my life to have purpose and meaning. I want to DO something worth while! I need to figure out what I'm good at, what are the gifts and abilities God has already given me? It is no coincidence that my time here overlapped with the Danish team by 3 or 4 days. They have inspired me, and I've had some really good talks with a few of the girls. So please pray for me that I will have open eyes, ears, and a heart that is soft. Thanks :)

Last night I slept at the church with one of the Danish girls, she kindly invited me for a little sleepover which is SO nice because I've been a teeny bit lonely without my team. She and her team left about an hour ago (it's 4:30 in the afternoon here.) so now I'm ready to fully move in. Staying with Treesa and her family has been wonderful, they are so kind and welcoming- she even took me and her son to the pool yesterday! But it's always hard living out of a suitcase, and I've been anxious to get settled in at the church. I hung out with the girls before they left, ate lunch with them, and typed out the class lists for this year's school term. School starts next week so lots has to be done! In about an hour I'll go with two other members of the church to do a children's program at a new church in Quezon city. It's only 2 Americans and 1 Filipino, none of whom have experience in children's ministry and they are trying to start a church there. They really need a lot of help so Mona and Ding have been taking just a couple people once a week, starting a month ago. It's a new project which I'm really happy to have a part in.

I should have a shower before we go, I'm crazy sweaty and I think I'm starting to smell. haha.