We've been involved in a volleyball tournament every weekend for the last couple of weeks, and it's been really fun! I was super embarrassed to play because I'm not good at all but after like 6 games I'm not as worried lol. My team has only won once, but when we did it was by a large margin so I can be proud of that! We play at the park near the church, called 'the oval'. There's a playground and a sheltered area for community events, etc. The best part of the oval is the woman who makes halo halo, or 'mix mix'. Its a Filipino favorite, and for good reason. You can throw anything into it- corn, beans, gellatin, bananas, mango, some kind of grain or something... and then ice and she pours canned milk overtop. Oh, it's delicious. And very refreshing.
We watched the US vs Canada game today from a really sweet cafe the next city over. When I say its another city, it sounds far away, but it only takes like 5 or 6 minutes to get there by bus or jeepney. Anyway it wasn't a happy finish so I don't want to talk about it much. But it was sweet to get a taste of home all the way from Asia.
After the game I went to the mall to buy a birthday present. On the way home, the jeepney stopped at a light and a little boy came on the back with a rag in his hand and started wiping every passenger's foot. He held out his hand for coins, to which I had to shake my head no. I still feel wounded even now just relating the story. We don't have any choice, we can't give money to any kids who come to beg. There's already an expectation that we have lots of money to give, because of our white skin and we don't want to fuel that. But also, if we give money to one child, the rest will come looking for money too, and it's not a responsible thing to do for them. I know all of that, and it is right, and it is true. But my heart still breaks when I think of how soft the rag was that he wiped my foot with and how hard it was to say no to him.
There's so much of this. So many kids begging. I'm grieved by it, especially because I haven't yet found my way to help or make a difference. We had a night of encouragement at the youth service last night (sunday night.) And that was really good, we got into groups of about six and went around the circle for each person, affirming them and letting them know the ways we see God in them. It was great for me to hear so many things, and I think it was very refreshing for my soul. So that helps a lot. I know that I am making an impact on people I'm fortunate enough to be friends with, they're such beautiful people. I just feel like I'm not doing enough. I wonder if missionaries every feel like they're doing enough.
Anyway it's late and I'm exhausted. I didn't get a nap before volleyball and even though it's not totally true, I feel like I've been going hard since this morning. So goodnight, god bless, miss you and love you.
ang.
