hindi pa?

I ate corned beef and egg with rice for dinner last night.

Am I Filipino yet?

I follow Asian washroom techniques (TMI?)

Am I Filipino yet?

I prefer RC Cola to Coke or Mountain Dew.

Am I Filipino yet?

I use a tabo to bathe...

Am I Filipino yet?

I'm hungry within an hour if I haven't eaten rice.

(Surely that means I'm Filipino!)

I ask myself questions in Tagalog while I'm getting ready in the morning.

Am I Filipino yet?

I try so hard to mould myself to this culture, in some ways without even knowing or noticing it. What's going to happen when I go home? Am I going to know who I am anymore, apart from my Filipino friends and family? The tabo, the RC, the corned beef, they're just things. They're just stuff. I can get along without them. But I look around at my friends I love so much. They are the ones I will need when I go home. What will I do without them?

God, do I belong here? I feel like I do. My heart's desire is to live here. But am I just trying to make God's will fit with my wants? It doesn't work that way... It really doesn't. I still get to make my own choices, I could just choose to live here, even if it was apart from His plan. But the truth is, I don't want to be outside of His plan. I've lived that way before, and I simply don't want it anymore. Never again. Let me be a servant, worthy of what I've been called to, for however long my service should be. I serve out of love. I serve in response to the knowledge that I've been bought with a heavy price. Someone gave his life for me. One day, a long time ago, he hung in the air, stuck to a tree by the nails in his hands and feet. But was it the nails that held him there? If he was really the Son of God, then he had all the power in the world to get himself off that cross. No, it wasn't nails that held him there, it was love. It was my face, and your face, that he saw in his mind. And so he stayed there. There's not much I can offer him. But I will gladly give him my life, in response to him giving his for me. It is my reasonable service. (Romans 12:1 NKJ) I only pray now that he would give me the strength to remain undivided unto him. That he would help me to give my everything- not just a part.

Though the seasons may change, Your love remains.

It rained this sunday morning.

I don't know what it is, or when it really started... but somehow, God will bring rain when he knows I need it, to remind me that he loves me. It's really something special, so if it doesn't make sense to other people, I get it! But for me, it's profound. It happened most recently in September, just after my Grampa died. I was about to start my first youth group as a leader, but I was early to the church and didn't really feel comfortable hanging around there, so I went for a walk to the MacDonalds to buy a coffee. On my way back to the church, it started to rain. It wasn't pouring, but it was more than a drizzle. I lit up inside. I was beaming! I feel a glowing inside, and this warmth, and I know that He's there. I can't explain it any more than that.

I think the first time it really happened was here in the Philippines, on May 12, 2010. It was the day my team was leaving, and there were tons of thoughts and feelings going on inside me. I was sad to be leaving this place, and all the special friends I had made. I was remembering all the best moments, and all the worse moments. I prayed to God, "let it rain on our last day here." We had only experienced rain once in our whole 4 months living here, and I wanted to see the rain so bad. God knows I love the rain. So as we walked down Sunset Drive, saying our final goodbyes, low and behold- it started to rain. Ha! I could hardly believe it! I told everyone, "God made it rain!! He made it rain for me!!!" Of course, no one could understand why that would make me so excited, but it doesn't matter! I know, I know that it was God doing something special, just for me. That's how much he loves me.

This sunday as I sat in the church, I listened to the band warm up. There was no one yet sitting in the chairs, just the musicians on the stage and me sitting at the back. I don't remember what song they were practicing when it started, but all of a sudden I heard from outside the sound of rain falling on the roof. I got up, and walked to the doors. I leaned against a wooden post just outside the church, and as I heard the band begin to play "Falling In Love", I smiled, and closed my eyes, and decided to soak up that moment for everything that it was. The words of the song say, "I keep falling in love with you Lord. Every beat of my heart, breath that I take." But in that moment, I knew beyond a doubt that it was God who was telling of his love for me.

Your love never fails.

God's grace is so good.

Had to start off my post with that revelation of today.

I needed to go to the bank this afternoon, so Ate Monz offered to bring me with her on her way to the Department of Education. It ended up just being a joy ride, because I brought my visa card with me instead of my debit... haha. So I'll have to go walk to the bank myself later. But I always enjoy the time I get to spend with Mona. She's one of the most inspirational people in my life. (If you know her, you already understand why that is.)

We chatted about how it really is a gift of God to be able to live in a completely different culture. I didn't realize it until my mom was here, and I saw how hard it can be for some people to adapt to the Filipino way of life. For me, it's not that it was so "easy"...but it really did come naturally. So I never thought twice about it. Now I can see that God really made me for life here! I have the right amount of passion to get excited about the children, and a love for a certain lack of 'order' shall I say? How do I describe it...? It doesn't bother me when a vehicle comes within an inch of hitting me, I just shrug it off. Even though in Canada, that would nearly give me a heart attack. I don't mind anymore when I get a mixture of urine and mud all over my feet, because it probably means I'm hanging out with children in their village. And I love those times, they are awesome! But I am realizing that what could have potentially been offensive to me, or disturbing, or irritating, I'm usually able to get over and go with the flow.

I walk down the street. People stare as they drive by. Children point, men elbow each other and make jokes.

I attempt to speak the Tagalog that I know, occasionally getting teased for my accent.

I sing with the children. I hold them, and play with them, only realizing in hind-sight that they could have lice, that their hygiene is poor.

There is puss oozing out from the wound on one child's head. But I don't look away from him, neither do I stare. I wait for him to smile at me, and go on singing, just like I should.

Some of my students are abused at home. Some of my friends are. But I'm not shocked, and I don't lose my temper when I'm around their folks or abusive siblings. The Lord gives me peace, and I know that I can only do, in the words of Mother Theresa, "small things in great love." So I try my best, by His grace, so show love.

Nothing starts on time. Ever. Except for the instances w

hen I show up late, telling myself "well, we never start on time anyway." Those times, we do. And everyone wonders, where have you been? I'm learning that there is a such thing as 'Filipino time', and it has nothing to do with time zone.

In all honesty, my students often don't take me as seriously as they do the other teachers. I suppose part of this is due to my very real lack of experience as a teacher, and also because of the language barrier. I think back to Senor Sanchez, the Spanish teacher we so awfully disrespected in grade ten. Language is huge. It really is. I need to become fluent in Tagalog.

A walk down sunset drive can be an adventure to the nose. Among some of the smells you may encounter, the three that really stand out are urine, garbage, and rotting animal. These three smells are pungent on their own, but just imagine them at midday after the 32 degree sun has been pounding down, along with the 94% humidity. Oh, it's delicious. BUT, I continue walking, because most of the time I don't even consciously notice it.

What I've learned in how to live here is a credit to the people I live with. It started out with Nathan and Matt the first time I came last year. They were the only two from our team who had been to the Philippines before, therefore, I would look to them to be my example. When a bargaining situation would arise, I'd look to one of them to see how they handled it. From Nathan's successful teasing way of bartering, I learned to get a pretty good price! Filipino's love to joke around- it really works! And with respect to the children, I wouldn't have known that it's okay to just pick up random kids and play with them had I not seen Nathan and Matt doing it first. Then, as I got to know Pastor Ding, Ate Mona, and the youth in the church, I learned to look to them as an example. From them I learned not to be offended by the rough conditions of a squatter village. I learned to focus on the children above their environment. And of course, God does a huge work in my heart to enable me to live in this Nation, and to love it. Many times I wonder how I could fit in so well anywhere else. It's not easy, and there are times of loneliness and missing home. But I find so much joy in the relationships God has blessed me with, and so much encouragement in seeing His work.

"Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work."

-Mother Teresa.

Still.

"When the oceans rise and thunders roar,

I will soar with you above the storm.

Father you are King over the flood,

I will be still and know you are God."

I'm still amazed when I can close my eyes and sing these words, with small Filipino children all around me. Some are goofing off, and some are fighting. Others are wandering around wondering, "when can we eat?", and still more are simply watching all these volunteers with their arms raised in the air, singing. I get lazy in describing the wonder of daily life here... and for that I really should apologize. I get lazy because I've grown accustomed to the sights, smells, and sounds. I can't exactly appreciate what it feels like to be 'outside the loop'. That is, I admit, one area in which I need work and growth.

Bagong Silang today was wonderful. The praise and worship was fun, then I handed my camera off to Jonell (he's a much better photographer than I am), and Milet and I went to her home. Her dog Mucho and I don't get along very well. Mostly I scold him as he tries his hardest to maul me. Certainly if it weren't for Milet holding him back, I'd have scars from that very protective dog. We hung out briefly at her place, then got back to the ministry just in time to hear the children's story.

Back at the church we had dinner, watched part of Captain America (pirated of course- it's still playing in the cinema) and I uploaded todays photos to facebook.

My classes are going well, and in my cell group we're brainstorming ways to fundraise for our mission trip. The original plan was to do a one week children's outreach in Thailand, but it's looking now like we might be going to Vietnam instead. The price would be about the same either way, and to be honest, the amount we need to come up with individually is about 300 dollars, and it's really an overwhelming amount. Coming from a very blessed nation, 300 is a lot, but not impossible. But here, it's really difficult to imagine where 300 dollars is going to come from- especially when a hundred dollars is considered a small fortune. However, all things are possible through God, so we are really holding onto faith that this trip will happen, and that we'll all be able to raise up the money necessary.

Now it's 10:30pm and I have some clothes to finish washing. Adieu and God bless!

Angela.

There we go!

Now I'm back into the swing of things! Sweet beans!

It is wet. Everything, everything is wet! The humidity is currently at 94%, and as I lay in my bed I feel like it's been rained on or peed on or just somehow drenched with water. My sheets feel damp, but I promise I haven't peed the bed! It's such an awful feeling to try and fall asleep to... So there's my complaining. I try not to complain about the weather as much as possible, because I love it here and I want to be here. And really, the truth is, most of the time I don't mind the heat or the rain. I'm pretty content. But at times like right now, I just want to complain to someone that my clothes aren't drying, and my towel isn't drying, and my bed feels wet and my face feels oily. Haha. It's funny to read that.

Despite the rain, we went to Gruar and did our ministry under some shelter. It was good. There was one interesting moment worth sharing, but especially worth remembering. I was watching the kids lining up to receive their food, and I noticed a tiny little girl sitting on the ground, pressed up against the wall and being kicked by some of the children as they passed by. I had my camera in my hand, and thought for a moment of grabbing a photo of her... to my eyes it was an interesting image- of this small girl barely visible through the legs of kids older than her, sat on the ground by herself. But I didn't try to photograph her, I just watched her for a minute. Then as if I had snapped my fingers, I thought, "what the heck am I doing? Why don't I just go pick her up?" So I did just that, moving through a mini sea of children to get to her. I asked her name, pulled her up to stand, and lifted her into my arms. She looked surprised at first but then got a cute little shy smile on her face. Mae Mae got a little jealous when she saw me holding another child, but I kissed her and tried to reassure her that it's fine and I love her just the same! I want her to understand that yes, she's so special to me, but I need to pour love on the other kids there as well.

Ate Monz invited me to eat dinner with her family tonight, since she was making spaghetti :) The spaghetti most Filipinos serve is made reeeally sweet, and it's not enjoyable at all for me. I grew up on the tastiest homemade tomato sauce in the whole wide world, and I like it salty- not sweet! Mama's sauce is the best, but Ate Mona's is really good also! It was so nice to taste something familiar to me, it kind of reminded me of home. There isn't much I crave from Canada, not much at all. But it was a real treat to eat some salty spaghetti tonight!

I worked a bit on what I'm going to share on Sunday night, and watched some of One Litre Of Tears with Mark until midnight. Now I'm almost falling asleep as I write this! It's 1:15 and I have an early morning for nutrition day tomorrow.

One more complaint before I go... there are mosquitos everywhere!!! Every time I walk into my bathroom it's like I've disturbed some hive or something, all of a sudden there are ten of them in the air. Crazy!

And also a sweet little something I've just stumbled upon.

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

— Lewis Carroll

well now that I've broken the ice...

I guess I should write again! Even though nothing super exciting has occurred... I need to remain in the habit of posting. Can't get lazy! Urgh!

I headed out of my kwarto (bedroom) at 9:00 this morning to begin my grade 3 reading class. Pastor Ding intercepted me before I could get there though, and said that because of the rain, the City Hall might be closed down tomorrow, and since my visa extension was about to expire, it really would be best if we went right then. So, go we did. It's only in the next city over, and it took us all of ten minutes to get there, which is lovely compared to the 2 hours it took us to get to the Immigration Office downtown. One of the workers there even served me coffee! He must have somehow known the way to my heart is through a hot cup of coffee.... So I renewed. I'm cleared to stay in the Philippines until September 30. After that I'll renew again until November 30, then fly away. It cost me 7, 500 pesos today!!! For those who are mathematically challenged like me, allow me to make the calculation for you! It came out to be 170 dollars. Not cheap any time, but especially on a missionary budget! Wow. It's a darn good thing I'm in the clear for two months now.

We made it back to the church in plenty of time for me to eat some snacks, and then proceed to my grade 2 class. They copied out Isaiah 40:29-31 (one of my long time favourite scriptures) into their notebooks, then after my checking to make sure they copied correctly, they wrote out the scripture again onto a clean piece of white paper. On monday we'll color and design our papers, and I plan to bind them together to make a book. Bukas, (tomorrow) is our 'Nutrition Day'. Each grade will prepare part of our lunch, and along the way we'll discuss the nutrition values of different foods. My responsibility is to prepare dessert with the preschoolers. We are going to make a delicious banana dessert :) You simmer sugar, water, and salt. A syrup starts to form. Then you add your neeners and simmer longer. Then you serve your yummy neeners with sauce overtop. It's ma sarap!

So now I'm resting before we go to Gruar. Please keep us in your prayers that our students homes won't be flooded in all this rain, and that classes will continue. Also, this sunday I'll be sharing for youth group. Mark and I will play the song we wrote together, meaning I'll be singing in front of a hundred or so, depending on if it's raining. Much less people will show up if it's still raining hard. I'm nervous! But what I want to remember is that this song isn't about me, or how well I sing it, but it's all about testifying to what God has done in my life. That's really all it's about. Him. I'll also be sharing a portion of my testimony and speaking out something I feel God has placed on my heart for the youth. I pray that lots of the new kids will come, and that they won't be stopped by all the water.

Funny how I managed to write a few paragraphs, mostly about nothing!

Ingat kayo... (take care!)

oh my...

Typical Angle: if I've neglected something for long enough, I determine somewhere within myself that I'll just keep sooo much distance. I force that THING from my mind- whatever I've been ignoring or neglecting. Until it gets to be such a big thing in my head that I can't imagine possibly returning! Sounds dramatic, I know... Anyway that's why I haven't written. I went for a few days, then I went for a week, and as the days went by I'd think to myself "Oh shoot! I should write a blog! But it's already been so long... how can I know what to write..?" and then I just put it off. So I'm writing right now to break the ice!

ha!

The bad, and the good.

The good: the rotting animal smell is coming from outside, not from my ceiling. The bad: it's right outside my window. My bed is next to the window. It stinks.

The bad: my mom is coming on friday and my bathroom was a disgusting mess, including a wad of tissue stuffed away in the corner that's been peed on for what looks like the past few months. The good: that nasty freaking bunch of tissue is finally gone.

The bad: I almost gagged cleaning it off the floor. The good: I managed not to throw up.

The good: no classes tomorrow. The bad: there are no classes because the students will be busy writing their exams. Two of which I happen to be writing right now.

It turns out my procrastinating as a teacher is just as bad as it was when I was a student.

I've been so unfaithful with my blog posts... pasencha na po...

My room is now squeaky clean and suitable to host my mother. She begins her journey in about 12 hours. I'm trying to brainstorm all the things I can do to make her more comfortable... I'm going to buy some ice and manga and serve her mango like she's never had before and a cold drink once we get to the church. (I'll taxi to the airport to pick her up on friday morning and bring her back here.) One nice thing about arriving on a friday is that we don't have any ministry or outreach- only worship practice friday evenings. So she'll be able to just chill and get accustomed to being here. I have a surprise planned for monday and tuesday, but in case she reads this post I'll wait and hold back from saying what it is.

A couple exciting things have happened! I've decided now that I'm definitely staying until the end of November. Since I'll be here during the time the church goes on its mission trip to Thailand, it looks like I'll be going there with them! It will cost me 300 dollars which I'll have to try and raise somehow. We will spend one week in Thailand ministering mostly to children who are only familiar with Buddhism. Our desire is to see them come to know the Lord, and His incredible love for them. I'll try and change my flight to leave Manila November 30, and my friend from way back in grade 4 has invited me to come visit him in Wuhan, China! So if all works out, I'll go and hang out with him there for about four days and "get my feet wet in China" as he puts it. That would mean I'll get back to Canada some time in the first week of December, just in time for my 21st birthday and Christmas :) How exciting!

Aerobics with the ladies has been fun! We even had one of the little brothers join in on tuesday haha. I think he's 6, and it was so funny to watch him try and keep up with the dvd we were watching. He put forth such a great effort!

I better get back to these exams and finish up. It's almost 1:00 am and I really have to finish and get up early enough to print them off before 8. God bless!

Buhay ang maganda.

How can I express the depth of my gratitude for being here? Every time I see the kids drop their peso's in the offering basket, I tear up. When they're singing, I close my eyes and just listen. I know the words, and I like to sing along, but sometimes just hearing them is so much better. And when we pray, I don't keep my eyes shut! I open them so I can watch their precious little faces all scrunched up in focus and in passion. Sometimes I have to stop and look around me, and think, "I'm really here." And my heart overflows with thankfulness to God. Not just here in the Philippines, but here, in life. How easily I forget what's been done for me, what's been given to me! Truly, what more could I ask for??

I'm alone at the church now, it's about 7 pm. Tonight's ministry is at East Ave, and only 4 people can go each week. I get a little lonely sometimes being here alone in the evenings, but tonight it's actually really nice. This is good time for me to reflect and refocus.

It's been a week since I last wrote, there have been some funny things that happened! I was helping to cook lunch last sunday, and of course, while I stirred I was humming. Well, apparently there's a Filipino superstition that if a woman sings while she cooks, she will never get married. Ha! Then again, only the next day I was eating lunch with the other teachers. As per usual, I was the last one to finish. (If you know me well, you know I'm an extremely slow eater.) So Ate Monz informs me that I have to turn my plate! "Why?" I asked. "Because, if you're the last person eating at the table, you will never get married! But there's a way to reverse it! You must turn your plate around." She's joking of course, but I play along. I can't tell you how many times I've spinned my plate this past week haha. It seems I'm hopeless!

A couple of the guys are helping me put a poem of mine to music. It's something I wrote five years ago. Since I never intended it to be a song, it's not structured to be one at all, so it's been a little bit of a challenge. I mean, I didn't even have a tune in mind! But we sit down, and one of them plays different chords and patterns, and I try and sing along. It's really different. At one time I could say, "I'm a writer, not a musician." But now I can't claim either! I've tried writing again but it just won't flow. Anyway, the song writing process proves to be interesting. I've also picked up the guitar again, which feels good. This is a great place to improve my playing and learn some songs, since so many people here at the church are musically gifted.

Today Martha and I went to the mall to buy an aerobics DVD :) last week after prayer meeting, Mona and I were chatting about exercise, and came up with the idea to do a girls only aerobics group! So we start tomorrow! Martha and I picked a Latin dance disc haha. I've previewed it already, and I think it's going to be really fun!! I'm super excited.

I have so many questions about my future. I really don't know what's next, and I struggle with having the faith that my tomorrows are already known by God, and I need only trust that He's going to get me there safe and well. But right now, I'm sitting in front of a fan, typing at the round table in the church, listening to cars and motorcycles drive by, occasionally honking their horns. Except for Argie's brother and Jonell, I'm the only one here. It's quiet inside, and I just feel a perfect peace. In this moment, I have no confusion. None, whatsoever. Yes, I still have questions. But right now, I know that I'm where I'm meant to be. And I feel right.

a day to enjoy beauty.

I had a wonderful day :)

Teaching was a pleasure, as always. For a change of scenery I brought both my classes to the church to read. They like it better because they can sit on the floor and get closer to the pictures... plus sitting in a desk isn't very comfortable, and you always want to be comfortable to hear a story! I don't know if I mentioned it before, but the church provides snack and lunch for the students and teachers. We had lunch, and I checked the notebooks of my grade 3 class to make sure they were copying everything down properly. Then I got a text from Ate Treesa, asking me if I'd be up for a trip to an art museum! Even though today is tuesday, and we usually go to Bagong Silang squatter village, I had no plans because the Korean Pastor Khan went back to Korea for a few weeks. So of course I said I'd love to come!

She picked me up just after 3:00 and we we drove straight to this stunning garden/museum called Pinto Art Museum. It's a private place, owned by a neurologist who practices in Makati. I guess he just has a huge passion for art, so two years ago he began building up this beautiful property where he could invite artists to come and enjoy a peaceful environment to be inspired. He succeeded! It's absolutely inspiring. The architecture is original and so.. 'other worldly'. Everywhere you look are angles and shapes, sculptures, lush gardens.. (the whole place is essentially build out of the jungle mountainside!) And then when you go inside, you see many different studios and displays for artwork. They even have a cafe in one garden, and in a separate garden, they have a restaurant and about than ten tables for patrons, so it's very intimate and quiet. The whole point is a serene environment and I really, thoroughly enjoyed it.

We went to go visit her best friend Linda after we left the museum. Linda works with the Zion bible school, a seminary that's moved locations a couple times. But they've just finished building their new school, and it's GORGEOUS! It was so nice, I thought maybe I'd like to become a pastor, just so I could attend haha. The whole place, including Lisa's house is build at the very top of a mountain, so you can look out over all of Manila and even out into the bay. Unfortunately it was a little foggy today so we couldn't see everything clearly, but I could see the bay and the water past the city.. so beautiful. After that we rushed back to Treesa's house for dinner with a lovely couple who just came back from Israel! They are Americans, the husband Scott runs a medical clinic in Antipolo (?) and his wife Cindy is a teacher. Chatting with his wife was really cool, she really seemed to understand my heart and why I didn't go to college right away, and why I'm here. She told me about the direction the clinic is going in- she has dreams and prayers to start a school. She and a couple of the ladies she disciples are already tutoring some students in a sort of summer school. It's really exciting to hear how God is supplying the resources for the needs that she sees in her midst. I'm blessed so much to talk with these different missionaries here who are really living the life that I've dreamed of... It's real for them, it's every day! I'm gaining insight and so much appreciation for them and for how difficult, but rewarding the missionary life is here in the Philippines. This is valuable time, and I feel more and more every day that God is teaching me. I don't know if he's preparing me for the challenges I'll face in my future as a missionary here, or if He's letting me know that I should continue seeking His will elsewhere. All I know, is that this is a time of seeking and finding, reaching and receiving, asking and listening. Something important is happening here in me personally, I can feel it.

After dinner, Treesa, her son Drew, her dog Oreo and I drove to the water tower in her subdivision and we climbed it! It was SO FUN! I think the first level was 70 feet, then we climbed to the very top, where we could stand on top, that must have been 80 to 90 feet! Oh my gosh, I loved it! If it had been daytime, we would have seen way into the mountains, but since it was night we could only see their shadows, and all the city traffic and lights. Still, super cool. I'd like to go back some time when the sun is shining :)

It was 31 degrees today, but felt hotter. The humidity was only 70%, which isn't really that high here. I think it was just the effect of the sun. It's a completely different sun from the one we see in Canada, in case you were wondering. I don't know how my mom is going to react to the heat haha. I hope she makes it out of here okay!!!

I am officially a Newhopian!

It has been such an exciting week already, and it's only tuesday! Life here is so wonderful.. God is so good to me.

I got my key to the church and the gate the other day, making me one of only a handful- something I'm very proud of. I know it's just a key, but to me it symbolizes this place being my home. That's why I say, I'm now officially a Newhopian! This morning after my first class I also received my teacher's uniform, which makes me feel like an official teacher! I'm so pleased. The shirts are a bit big for me, they were actually made for Teacher Jomel, but I think it's better too big than too small (which is usually my problem here haha.)

Yesterday after school I went with Marivic to go look at some clothes down the road and found a lovely pair of shoes for 250 pesos (about 5 bucks). They're an awesome find because I don't even have shoes that nice at home! I really like them. Then Ate Treesa (the white missionary I stayed with for my first 4 days here) picked me up at the church and we went for a massage together :) It was delightful! There was only time for a half hour massage, but it was so relaxing I felt like it could have been an hour. She got on my back and cracked it with her knees! It was awesome! We were at a beautiful spa, but it was really sad to think that within the walls of this spa, everything is bright and lovely and people are pampered, but just outside the walls there's nothing but squatters for miles. The difference is just so drastic, with the vast majority of the population living in that poverty. We went back to the Haus house (ha.) for dinner, and there I met a woman named Holly. She's in her mid-20's, a missionary from the states who taught at Faith Academy here, and is now church planting and discipling young Filipino women. She's obviously very passionate about these people, and I was so impressed by her fluent Tagalog. She's only been here 3 years, but is driving herself around and really finding a way to fit in here as a single white woman, which is not ever easy. So that was really cool to meet her and talk with her.

Richard and I went to the DVD store last night and I bought a disc of 24 great UFC fights, and also a 10 in 1 disc of disney movies. The quality on the 10 in 1's is actually pretty good. And for the price of 2 dollars, it's worth it! The man who runs the shop gave me a special discount, telling Richard in Tagalog that it's because I'm beautiful. Richard looked at him and said, "she understands you." hahahaha. Richard didn't think it was very funny but I was laughing.

So now I'm in between classes, about to start my grade 2 reading class in 40 minutes. I'm getting bored of reading picture books with them every day. Always a different story and different pictures, but essentially it's all the same. I'd like to find them a poem or something different to read. Maybe we can read song lyrics and discuss them. It's harder with the grade 2's because they're still pretty young, but I once had someone suggest to me that it's always better to aim too high and have something go over their heads, than to aim too low and give them nothing to reach for. I like that philosophy.

Oh, before I go, the most exciting part of my week so far was my mom deciding to come visit me here! She and my dad emailed me on saturday night their time to tell me that she was thinking she'd like to come, and to say that they'd found a seat sale with China Air. I phoned them sunday morning to discuss it, and by sunday evening they had bought the ticket! She will be here July 15, for 5 days? Or a week. She'll stay in my room since everything else is being used as classrooms for the school. I'm really excited! I'm so surprised at this risk she's taking, it takes a lot of courage to hop on a plane and fly to the Philippines by yourself! It will be the first time someone from my family will understand what I do here, and subsequently my heart for Filipinos, especially the small ones. Mama Guild is coming to Manila! Unbelievable!

when it rains, it pours.

Yesterday was really crazy. It started off normal, teaching my two reading classes and enjoying snack with the kids. It was raining during class, which I still get excited about, but I had no idea how bad it was going to get!

Eventually, all the students had gone home except four of the grade 2 girls. They live in San Buena and were waiting for the trike to come and pick them up from the church. Since it was already afternoon, we were bagging the rice and soup for our ministry in Gruar. The girls were hanging out waiting, and came over to help me :) we bagged the rice and tied it up together, and I was so blessed to have their assistance. As we bagged, we talked about the book we'd read that day, "What Is Love?" It's so awesome when they remember what we read together. They could recite with me, "Love is... helping, sharing, listening, giving, saying sorry.." etc. So that was great fun. The rain was coming down hard by that time, and we played and laughed and ran around dancing haha. I ran to grab my camera because it was just such a special moment, I didn't want to forget it. Taking pictures is always a popular activity, especially for us girls!!! We posed with umbrellas and in the rain... haha. Then their trike came so we said goodbye and I went to hang out with the youth until we left for Gruar.

Ate Mona received a text message from the mother of one of our students. She warned us that in Gruar the water was already at hip level and flooding. My reaction was excitement! I had never seen a flood in person before. I would compare it to how the Filipino's would feel seeing snow for the first time. Shock, and awe. We packed the food into the pajero and drove over. We were a small group yesterday because most of the youth were stuck at home due to the rain. I could feel the water getting higher and higher underneath the car. I felt like the tires were submerged, haha... so I turned to Marivic and asked, "ARE WE FLOATING?!?!" Which evidently was a really stupid question, because she laughed and smacked me and called me something derogatory in Tagalog hahaha. We stopped, and I had the moment of panic! I was sitting next to the door, and all of a sudden I was nervous for what would happen when I opened the door! Would the water come rushing in?! Again, stupid, but my imagination went away on me lol. Ate Monz asked me to take lots of pictures, because she left her camera with her daughter, Martha. So I assumed the role of photographer and snapped away. I took 93 pictures yesterday. It was incredible. The water was only about half way up my calves but it was shocking anyway. Of course, it wasn't cold, but I quickly realized that in water like this, staying dry is completely impossible, so I began to embrace being drenched!

We couldn't go any farther than the entrance to Gruar, the water was just too deep. So we handed off the crates of food to some of the boys and men to bring in. Argie and Charlie went to help distribute, as well as a few people from the village. It's way too hard for me to describe the scene... men were swimming in the 15 foot deep water where a small creek runs during the dry season, kids were wading over to us to say hi, we were hiding underneath a tiny little shelter at the entrance of the village, and it finally dawns on me that many people's homes are filled with water. This of course, is a serious problem when you have little to call your own as it is. In the squatters, disasters like floods and fire and that much worse, because when you've lost everything you have, where can you begin to rebuild? Resources are maxed out as it is, when times are 'good'. I can see now how disheartening it is for those living in the squatters when the rain falls like this. And apparently this isn't even that bad. I asked Jonell, "so what would you call this, is this a flash flood?" He said, "flash flood?... no... just a regular flood." !!! It's crazy to me. At least this is a flood no one should die in. Mona tells me that Cainta is already at F in the monsoon alphabet. 'Falcon' has already come! 6 monsoons this year already, and we're not even in the thick of rainy season yet! The worst is yet to come- during the months of September- November. It was during September 09 that Manila experienced 'Ondoy', a terrible storm that killed many- including one of our Superkids. The water had filled her home in the squatter village, so she jumped out the window and was swept away.

School was cancelled today in all of Cainta on account of the rain, so I slept in till 11 and then watched a Filipino drama movie with Argie, Richard, Marc Cris and Jonell. The day has been pretty boring, a lot of bumming around and drinking coffee. Argie and I made lunch for the 6 of us at the church. Boiled chicken, sautéed in liver spread and tomato sauce with potatos and veggies. We ate it with rice (of course) but today as a special treat we had garlic rice! Mmm so good. I just pretended there was no liver in the ulam and it was fine haha.

I'm going to walk to the DVD store with Jenneth and some of the boys when I'm done my Tagalog homework for my lessons with Teach. Goodnight, Canada!

A New Hope to Asia, Center for Education.

I almost forgot! How could I forget?

Something I'm really excited about is the vision for our school at the church. We have a preschool class, and grades 1-3. Our teachers are Ate Mona, Ate Beth and her husband Jomel, Ate Marivic (aka Teach), Ate Marilyn, and myself. Marilyn takes the students with special needs, or the ones who need to study in a different way from the other students. I like to watch her and one of her students, April. They write out the alphabet with clay, and take things a little bit slower. I'm always blessed to see the gentle and patient way in which Marilyn works with her.

This school is about more than offering a few grades to the younger kids. There is a long term vision which is so much more. The dream on the hearts of the leadership here, is to educate these kids now, so that they have a good, strong platform with skills in English, and then to help the same kids get into college later on, offering financial assistance if needed. The church already pays for the education of 13 (?) college students. But of course, college education is going to be harder if you haven't had a solid upbringing in school all the way along. "We want to raise up world changers", is what Pastor Ding told me yesterday. Currently, none of the children are sponsored for their schooling, and the budget is getting tighter and tighter. There is an option to sponsor one of the students for 35 dollars a month. It provides for their books, papers, pens and pencils, erasers, sharpeners, snacks at break-time, lunch, and the salary of the teachers. (Myself not included, of course.) Currently we are working on setting up a website where sponsors can check how the students are doing in their classes, and look at pictures and understand exactly what our school is all about. I think it's a great idea, and I'm excited about it. We are walking in faith right now that the students will be sponsored, trusting that God will provide the money. If sponsoring one of the students is something you think you'd like to do, I'm going to ask Ate Mona to compile some specific info for me, and I can share it here. I will also get her email address so you can forward any questions to her :)

hot chicks and sweet rides :P

I would just like to say that I'm the coolest teacher, EVER. I felt so badass driving around on a friends motorcycle, and it only got better when I drove past a students house and he waved me down. When I stopped he just looked at me like I was crazy and said "Teacher Angela... what are you doing...?" Hahaha. So sweet.

Marivic (Teach) was going to be sleeping alone last night at her cousins house, so I invited her to come stay with me and have a sleep over. She didn't have any of her things though, and transportation can be a problem here. (Expensive, and sometimes unpredictable.) Argie recently sold her his motorcycle, but she's not comfortable driving it yet, so I told her I could drive and we'd go get her stuff together! It was so fun... such an adventure! People really look at me with curiosity when I go driving by them. It's a rare sight to see a white girl, let alone a white girl driving a motorcycle. But it was such a good time! Some boys from the church must have been a little hesitant about my abilities, because they showed up at her house a while later, to make sure we'd gotten there okay! I said that I didn't know whether to be pleased that they are so attentive, or offended that they didn't trust me! I proved myself more than capable, and I was very proud :) Sleepovers here are just the same as sleepovers at home. We watched Letters to Juliet, had dinner, chatted late into the night about love (haha) and boys (haha) and eventually fell asleep. Teach is quickly becoming a really special friend of mine. I think the building of relationships is a focus of mine during my stay here. I've already experienced lots of that, and I'm loving it :)

Instead of teaching yesterday, Pastor Ding and I headed downtown to the Immigration offices. It can take a long time to get there and then be processed, so we left at 8:30 am. We had to take the train, then a jeepney, then walk for a ways. It was a really cool time though, because I got a chance to really talk with him and learn more of the way he thinks. He shared with me some stories of his life as a business man, before he became a pastor. I highly value that time I got to spend with him. I was processed within an hour, so round trip we were only about 4 and a half hours. Pretty good time when you live in a city as crowded as Manila! So my visa is extended now until about half way through July... they get so much money from you through these visa extensions.. When you first come into the country you have 21 days. Then, if you extend, you get like, 18 days on top of that. When those 39 days are up you have to renew AGAIN. And it cost me 75 bucks yesterday! When I'm not making any money, that's a heck of a lot to spend all at once.

I'm in between my two classes right now. I have about an hour and a half long break which is nice. I will go eat now so I'm energetic for my grade 2 reading class :)

bring on the rain!

I had a first this weekend! Most sundays I like to make myself a coffee and drink it during the service. Well, the heavens were pouring down rain this sunday, which brought the temperature down. For the first time ever, here in the Philippines, I experienced my coffee going cold on me! It was totally shocking! It's been raining a lot this week, which I love. I take great pleasure in standing outside becoming drenched in the heavy downpour, and according to some friends, this is just a light rain! It's going to get a heck of a lot heavier, so I'm excited to see what that's like :)

Pastor Ding continued his message from last week about prayer. Last week was more specifically on the question of whether lack of prayer is weakness, or sinful. It was so intriguing to me, as I've never even considered it. This week was more about prayer itself. Why do we pray? What happens when we pray? One thing he said that stuck with me was, "you can trace every big thing that God has done, to a prayer." ...which is so mind boggling. If that's true, then it proves that even though God can do whatever he wants, he choses to work with, and through us. He chooses to partner with us. Something I still don't understand... But it's refreshing to hear about prayer- why do we actually pray? God reminded me this past week that because he calls me child, I have a right and privilege to approach him with my requests and petitions. So why should I delay? What could stop me, if he is waiting? An area in my life I really wish to see growth is in my prayer.

Of course, tonight, when I'd really like it to be raining, there's none to be had. Our pipes have been broken since last night so we find ourselves without flushing toilets, tap water, showers, drinking water, everything. If it was raining even a little I'd go outside to brush my teeth! Argie is working on fixing it right now, I hope and pray that he's able to get our water back... We're constantly so hot and sticky- especially during rainy season with so much humidity in the air! You should see what's happening to my hair... If I leave it wet, it curls. But as soon as it dries and I brush it, my head turns into a big fluff ball!

I went to Greenhills today with Lisa, which was so fun! The prices were a little discouraging, not quite as low as we would have liked them to be. Such beautiful clothes... but not for the right price. We couldn't find any tops we liked for less than 200 pesos! Of course, by Canadian standards that's still really cheap- only 4 bucks, but I'm trying to live on a Filipino budget. 200 is not easy to justify spending on a t-shirt. I still managed to get a couple really nice gifts for people at home, a couple scarves, and one shirt. I also got a pair of shoes for church, since the only footwear I've had are my islander sandals, which aren't very classy and don't match my pretty skirts haha.

Tomorrow is back to school. My first class is with the grade 3's. We're starting a book called Danger Ahead, it's a Focus on the Family book. It's not too long, and I think they'll be interested once they get into the plot line. My grade 2 class is so much easier, because I can fill up a whole 50 minutes by reading to them and having them interact with the story as we go along. That class always ends up going by faster, and they're so much more responsive to me than the grade 3's. I don't know why.

I would like to take this opportunity to mention that my dinner tonight was a burger with cheese and egg from one of the shops along the road. I spent a whole 22 peso's on my dinner. Guess how many Canadian dollars that is? ZERO dollars! It's only 50 cents! And it was delicious. Who knew that throwing a fried egg on a cheeseburger would taste so good? Masarap!

Sige po, magandang gabi, pagpalain ka ng Diyos!

smelly teacher Angela...

These kids are incredible! I often think I know how great they are, but then they surprise me all over again. Gruar last night was awesome, as always. It was only raining a bit on the way over, but by the time we started to unload and set up it was coming down hard, so we relocated further into the squatter where there's some shelter. The venue is smaller and cramped, but we were mostly dry and managed to do our songs, skit, prayers and hand out food :) Milet told the story of the feeding of the 5000. I mostly held Mae Mae- I got to meet her little brother and parents yesterday. It was really cool to talk with them briefly. They told me that I'm Mae Mae's favourite, and of course I told them that she is mine. Not that I should have any favourites, but it's always going to be true that some kids stand out. They are ALL special. Her English has improved since last year when she didn't speak any at all! I'm very proud of her. And I've learned more Tagalog now, so our communication is improving all the time :)

Perhaps I should lay out what my weekly schedule looks like. I realized I've never done that before, maybe it gets confusing sometimes? Anyway here it is:

Monday:

• I teach the Grade 3 reading class at 9:00 am,
• Grade 2 reading class at 11:40am,
• East Avenue, Quezon City children's ministry from 5:00pm-10:30pm

Tuesday:

• Grade 3 and 2 reading class
• Bagong Silang squatter village ministry at 4 or 5:00pm, then dinner at the church

Wednesday:

• Grade 3 and 2 reading class
• Prayer meeting at 7 or 8:00pm

Thursday:

• Grade 3 and 2 reading class
• Preparing food for Gruar from 11:00am- 4 or 5:00pm
• Gruar squatter village ministry at 5:00pm

Friday:

• Grade 3 and 2 reading class
• Worship practice at 8:00 (?) pm

Fridays are rather quiet for me.... I can do lots of reading and sleeping on fridays!

Saturday:

• Superkids children's ministry (400 kids) from 8:00am-1 or 2:00pm

Saturdays are definitely the longest and most tiring days, but also so much fun. It's nice to have a good rest after the chaos of hanging out with, then feeding 400 kids. Trust me, you cannot imagine what it's like unless you've seen it! haha.

Sunday:

• Church at 10:00am
• Youth group at 6:00pm

There are almost always people at the church, so I will usually hang out with whoever's around during the hours in between events. They end up being full days, which is so good, and I'm very happy about that. I prayed before I came that I wouldn't let one day be a waste. I don't want to take any of my time here for granted, which is sometimes hard when it's so hot and all I want to do is lay down with the fan on.. haha. And I do that too, but I'm usually with people. Community is so important here. It's a cultural aspect that I love and am growing accustomed to. 'Alone time' is experienced when you are showering, in the bathroom, or going to bed. Haha. And I like that!

About showering, maybe I should explain for my Canadian friends what bathing is like here. I have a bucket, and a smaller dipper. I fill the bucket with water, and splash it on myself using the dipper. Once nice thing about a dipper bath, is that you can let the water sit out and get a little warmer, so it's not such a shock to splash cold water on yourself. Also, you waste a lot less water bathing this way. I quite enjoy my bucket baths. I have one every night, one in between classes in the morning, and one in the middle of the day to cool down.

One of the students gave me a bar of soap today. I didn't understand at first, I thought he was playing a joke on me, trying to say that I'm smelly! But Ate Mona explained later that his father works in a soap factory! So sweet little Jules was giving me a gift. What a blessing to receive a gift from small hands that have so little already.

I love my students, I love my classes, I love the squatter village kids, I love the Superkids, I love the youth of the church, I love the leadership of the church, and I love my God for bringing me here.

"Good morning class..." "Good morning Teacher Angela!"

Today was my first day teaching, and it was a total success!! None of the kids died, or got hurt, or cried, and they were all dismissed with smiles on their faces :D So... better than I expected!

I took over Ate Beth's grade 2 class today because she was at an orientation. It was only a half day of school anyway so it wasn't a big deal. Starting tomorrow and for the rest of my time here I'll be teaching the grade 3 Reading class at 9:00, and the grade 2 Reading class at 11. So that leaves me with an hour long break in between.. I'm sure there will be more work to be done tomorrow, but I'm going to try to sneak away to watch some of the Boston/Vancouver game. I can't believe that the team I've been cheering for all along is playing for the Stanley Cup tomorrow and I'm not with my family to see it. Kind of sad.

After school I'll have an hour to bathe, rest, and get lunch, and then I'll join the youth to prepare for our ministry in Gruar. My favourite squatter!! I don't know what our ulam will be tomorrow, but the cooking will commence as early as 11 in the morning and then we'll start bagging it all in the afternoon so we're ready to drive there for 5 ish. I'm so excited to see Mae Mae again! We didn't get to go last week because it was raining too hard, so I've only seen her once since I've been back- the day I got here. That's what the picture is from. I'm still in my travel clothes, haven't showered or anything, but I was so excited to see her and the other kids I had to go!

I'll be waking up at 7 or 8 tomorrow to go get breakfast and eat and pick my stories for the classes and I'm already tired at 11:30 so I should really go to bed. Goodnight!

stuck in bed.

yes, I am stuck in bed. So why not take this opportunity to write a little catch up post? It's not even so much gross, as it is truly impressive the amount of phlegm I'm coughing up these days! Just where does it come from, I'd like to know? I'm like an endless pit of mucus, every day I could fill a cup! (Nasty enough?) Like I said, I'm stuck in bed, so I'll attempt to gain some entertainment from the thought of you cringing and imagining the expression on your face as you read.

Lisa and I had planned to go to a large, wonderful market called Greenhills today (Lisa is the 19 year old daughter of Pastor Ding and Ate Mona), but Mona advised that I not go. I've had this awful cough for 4 days now and recently with the addition of diarrhea and a fever, I haven't been feeling so hot. I tried to make it but I'm too dizzy even to walk around the church so it's a no-go.

I was up at 7 this morning for the parents orientation. We went through the school handbook and discussed boring school things, but I saw some of the students I'll be teaching which makes me so excited. I was also introduced to the parents so now they'll know who the crazy white girl teaching their kids how to read is. The church offers schooling for preschool and grades 1 through 3. There are ten grade three students enrolled, and everything I've heard suggests that they're a really good group.

Yesterday was cool, after church I went home with the Teodoro's (the pastor and his family) and had lunch with them :) Their dog, who bites everyone and is usually very protective and mean actually let me pet him! Lunch was great and then I went back to the church to hang out with a couple of the girls. We got some Sprite and borrowed a movie and watched in my room with the fan on. It would have been really good, quality bonding time if the movie selection had been a bit better. One of the girls picked Scary Movie, and I knew it would be crude, but I did NOT remember it being as bad as it was! We were laughing of course, but I don't think we'll watch it again haha. This is an extremely modest culture so Scary Movie was rather shocking...

I tried turning the air-con on for half an hour to cool down my room, which was glorious, but as soon as I turned it off it went right back to being hot, hot, hot. I'm sucking back gatorade and trying to work up an appetite but so far, wala pa. With the humidity it's a cool 44 degrees. Not all that great when you already have a fever!! Anyway... sleep well, Canada, God bless you!

You're looking into my heart.

Agh... God keeps on ripping my heart. When I close my eyes and think about it I get this picture of a heart that's being clawed at, peeling back layers. Remember Eustance, in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader? Remember when Aslan had to peel off the layers of his dragon skin by using his lion claws, and it was so painful, until finally the last layer was gone and all that was left was naked, humble Eustance...? That's me!

I've just come home from the children's program in Quezon city. I still have to process what I really saw there. Picture the island you sometimes see between different directions of traffic. You know, that little space in between, it sometimes has grass growing or trees in it? Picture instead rows of tents, as far as you can see stretching down that skinny island space. Picture children sleeping out in the open there, just laying in between lanes of traffic. They truly have noting. They don't even have enough to pay the minuscule rent to live in a squatter village. Just small children... please imagine. They are 5, 6, and younger. One of them just lost his mother, she was hit by a car and killed- right there where they all live. They're so small. My heart grieves for the little girls. How safe could they be? The literally live ON the road, and who's keeping watch over them with all the people around? Lord, please keep those children safe from harm... pray for them. That's all I can say right now. Thanks for praying.

Ange.

...dahil sabi ng Panginoon.

I was a wreck this sunday! I bawled through most of worship and again through the offering.

Jane is on the dance team. Last year when we met her, she was having a problem with her hip. She had so much pain that it made dancing impossible, and even walking to church was a struggle for her. She was truly in agony and her faith to be healed started to suffer as the weeks went by. We laid hands on her as a church and prayed many times, and a couple of the guys provided money to take her to get an MRI. Nothing was figured out, and when my team left in May she still hadn't been healed. I was ecstatic this year to come back and learn that she is completely, 100% healed now. She doesn't not suffer problems with her hip anymore! When she came out to dance sunday morning during worship I dissolved into tears. How great is our God! His spirit is so tangible at A New Hope. His praises shouted into the air, it's an atmosphere of praise!

I'm a frequent crier during the offering. Imagine spending all this time with kids who you know have next to nothing, then imagine the blessing to see them come to church. It might be an hour walk in the heat to get here, but they manage, because they can feel God when they come, and He is reason enough. Then you see them pull a couple coins from their pocket when the music starts to play. Two pesos, which is 4 cents CAD. It always makes me think of the story of the widow who gave so little- only a couple copper coins, but in such faith. What she gave was more valuable to the Lord. When I see those precious little kids walk up to the offering box and drop it in I want to sob and sob. They are so beautiful. 4 cents is all they have to give, but they do it. In that way, they are bigger than me. My selfish heart can learn so much from them.

I hope and pray that you're blessed by hearing about these kids.

On a personal note, I'm seeking God's direction for my life in my time here. I believe that now, with none of the comforts of home, or distractions around me, I can focus really intently on listening for the voice of God and where He will lead me. I want my life to have purpose and meaning. I want to DO something worth while! I need to figure out what I'm good at, what are the gifts and abilities God has already given me? It is no coincidence that my time here overlapped with the Danish team by 3 or 4 days. They have inspired me, and I've had some really good talks with a few of the girls. So please pray for me that I will have open eyes, ears, and a heart that is soft. Thanks :)

Last night I slept at the church with one of the Danish girls, she kindly invited me for a little sleepover which is SO nice because I've been a teeny bit lonely without my team. She and her team left about an hour ago (it's 4:30 in the afternoon here.) so now I'm ready to fully move in. Staying with Treesa and her family has been wonderful, they are so kind and welcoming- she even took me and her son to the pool yesterday! But it's always hard living out of a suitcase, and I've been anxious to get settled in at the church. I hung out with the girls before they left, ate lunch with them, and typed out the class lists for this year's school term. School starts next week so lots has to be done! In about an hour I'll go with two other members of the church to do a children's program at a new church in Quezon city. It's only 2 Americans and 1 Filipino, none of whom have experience in children's ministry and they are trying to start a church there. They really need a lot of help so Mona and Ding have been taking just a couple people once a week, starting a month ago. It's a new project which I'm really happy to have a part in.

I should have a shower before we go, I'm crazy sweaty and I think I'm starting to smell. haha.

I'm not very tech savvy...

just trying something to see if it works

Fire victims of Gruar

Yesterday we went into a basketball court to visit with around two hundred people who have nowhere else to live right now. A fire broke out in their squatter village a month ago and took what little they owned. It happens to be the same squatter we do a program in on thursdays. One of the Danish girls provided me this picture that you see above, of a woman and her bed. (Her baby is sleeping next to her on that pillow.) Since the Danish are still with us they did some more dancing for the kids, which they loved! They also did a few drama's, and then Pastor Ding whipped out this awesome, passionate sermon, which I didn't understand at all haha, but definitely got the idea. When Pastor Ding gets fired up it's impossible to ignore him. What a champ! 30 or 40 people raised their hands to accept the Lord following his message, praise God! I pray that they aren't satisfied with just being saved, but that they have a hunger for more- for a relationship with God daily

Today was SUPERKIDS Saturday!!! One of my favourite days of the week :D I sat with some of the same kids that I used to sit with last year- Nicole, and Renz, Jean Paul, David, and of course tons came to sit on/with me whose names I don't know yet. It was so fun!!! Shouting out prayers and bible verses, playing games, singing songs, watching a special dance by a few of the kids... it's all awesome. Then our feeding portion of the day commenced, which of course is organized, efficient, and loooong haha. It takes a long time to feed 450 kids! I wish I could explain every part so you could understand how complex it is! But maybe it's just something you have to see. It always feels crazy and overwhelming but in the end, we get all the kids fed and they leave with full bellies and hopefully smiles! It was so much fun, felt so great.

I'm pumped for tomorrow- church and youth group. I feel so much love here. I love these kids, and take ownership in a way. i know them, they know me, I want to look out for them and make sure they are okay. Well, better than okay.

Angle.

Round two!

I've been back for one day.

The plane landed in Manila at 9:30 yesterday morning, June 2. I am not in the least embarrassed to confess that I cried tears of joy as I saw the Manila harbor coming into view, completely overwhelmed. The humidity hit me like a wall, no suprise there. I got through customs, brushed my teeth and changed in the washroom, and headed out to grab a cab. He brought me to the church instead of to Treesa's- she wasn't going to be home and I decided I'd rather go and see all my friends first rather than crash in an empty house. I had the driver stop one block away from the church so that i could walk in. So much has changed... Anyway, I walked through the door to find the Danish team painting away, and just past them I saw Ate Rona! So I followed her into the church, dropped my bags, and we proceeded to hug with lots of squealing and crying on my part. I was actually shaking! Ahh. It's so good to be back.

As it was thursday, most of my friends started to trickle in. One by one I got to hug the youth of this church who I LOVE. I should explain for those reading who don't know, on thursdays we make a butt load of rice and ulam (yesterday our ulam was soup) and then bring it to Gruar, a squatter village nearby. We gather all the kids together and sing songs with them, dance, do a drama or tell a story with a biblical message, and then we pray and hand out the food. Since we have the Danish team here, they were our entertainment yesterday. They were wonderful! The kids especially liked when they performed a hip hop dance haha. Typical for them- dancing really grabs their attention. I recognized a lot of kids, and some of them remembered me. I saw Mae Mae. She was the girl who ran at me and jumped into my arms the very first time I went to Gruar, she had no idea who I was but she decided to just run at me! So since then we've been good buddies. I walked up to her and Ate Beth called her name, she looked at me kind of like a deer caught in headlights haha, and after a few seconds she LIT UP! We hugged, and pretty much kept hugging throughout our time there. I held up a few of the smaller kids so that they could see the Danish team's program, saw all kinds of things I'd forgotten I'd see... things that make me sad... But being back in that squatter village confirmed so much in my heart and in my spirit. God uses me there. God uses me here. I can LOVE these kids and it can make a difference in their lives! Not because of me, but because of Jesus in me. Awesome :)

So we finished up at Gruar, a fulfilling and blessed time, and headed back to the church. Pastor Ding and Ate Mona drove me over to Treesa's house. Only Mike was home, so he took my bags and we went to the kitchen where I tried to eat as much as I could, considering that it was 4 or 5 in the morning as far as my body was concerned! Treesa came, tried to feed me more, (lol) and we chatted about her daughters upcoming graduation, and how crazy everything has been getting ready for that. At about 8:00 I went into the room I'm staying in to get ready for bed and almost slept in all my dirty clothes haha, I could barely muster the energy to shower but I felt a lot better after I did. I slept SOLID, it was wonderful. All the way till 8 when Treesa woke me up to take me over to the church.

So that's where I am right now, 9:46 am, typing away on the church computer. Today we go back to Gruar, not to do our big program but to visit with some people who had their homes recently burned down- again. (Squatter villages are vulnerable to fires, with burning garbage and homes made partially of cardboard...) So we're making pancit, I'll help with that and maybe wander around Sunset Drive in the new grocery store and check out some of the newer shops.

Will write again soon, much love!

Ange.